My Independence Day

.Amazing.

I’ve been reflecting a lot over the past week. As stated in my prior post (One Year Ago Today) I went into the hospital on 6/28/12 for a foot infection and wound up with surgery and a diagnosis of diabetes

I was in the hospital for a week. And today, July 4th, one year ago, I got to go home. A friend contacted me that morning to see how I was doing and during the conversation asked if I was going to be getting my own independence day. I said I hoped to as all signs pointed towards it.

Well, I’ve thought a lot about that since that day and I guess in a manner of speaking I did receive my own independence day, and not just from the hospital. I got to go home that evening, not totally healed in my foot, but well on my way.

I’ve always been an independent sort of person which can be good or bad depending on the situation. However, this independence is leading me on a journey away from the “old” self towards a “new” self.

My newer self is much healthier physically with regards to my weight, fitness, and eating habits. However, I know God used this experience to start my journey in earnest toward the me that He created that I’ve never tapped into.

Jeremiah 29:11 has always been a verse that I have loved. I’ve read it many times but honestly don’t think it has ever resonated more with me than during the journey I started a year ago. This scripture and many others are more alive to me than ever before. More and more I can say that I truly believe God’s Word is for me, yes me. Not just a little for me and more for everyone else.

Revelation 21:5 speaks of making all things new. That is how I have felt and am feeling during this process. I’m learning new things about myself and also how to deal with areas that God reveals that aren’t so pretty.

I’m also rejoicing because I’m discovering a happier, freer, more joyful person inside of me. It’s definitely a process and its ongoing. There are a lot of layers to work through, some put there by my own doing and others a result of my upbringing. I know I’ll never stop growing spiritually, nor do I want to. I want to free myself from anything and everything that may be between me and God so He can use me.

I want to be used mightily for God! That’s my hearts desire, that’s what I’ve come to realize over this last year more and more. I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of years not being who I was supposed to be and I don’t want to waste another minute.

To quote Joyce Meyer – “I may not be where I need to be but I thank God I am not where I used to be.”

I’m on my way!

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2 thoughts on “My Independence Day

  1. As I am reading your blog I am thinking about the last 18 months in my family’s lives. Eighteen months ago I stood in the emergency room with my 26 year old daughter as the doctor told us she had just thrown a clot and by all rights she should have died. The clot had gone through her heart and into her lungs. I know that I should have rejoiced and a part of me did and another part of me was paralyzed with a fear that only a mother can understand. This was the beginning of several weeks of tests to find out what had caused her to throw a clot and getting her regulated on what would now be the drug she would have to take the rest of her life. A new diet, always having an emergency kit with her that would be specific to someone who would bleed out if she were to be cut accidentally etc. This incident started a series of illnesses and trials that has lasted to this day. My oldest daughter gave birth to our first grandchild and suffered a very traumatic birth and we are five surgeries later and she is still not healed. There are other things that have happened that I won’t go into. Each thing that has happened I have fallen down rather than reaching up like you did. Each Sunday that I wasn’t able to go to church led to a Sunday that I didn’t go to church. Each prayer got shorter and shorter until I found that I didn’t have much to say to God at all except why? The only medium I found between God and I was the beauty he showed me in his creation. Somehow I can feel him when I work in my flowers. That may sound crazy but it is the truth. Today I am angry. I am trying to deal with it. You spoke about Joyce Meyer. I listen to her everyday. I am doing what she said to do every morning when you get out of bed if you can’t do anything else. That is start saying throughout the day “help me Lord”, “I need you Lord”, and “I bless ______ today Lord.” So far that is as far as I get on most days. Long before started reading your blog I read your life. You have been an inspiration to me. You took a very dark time in your life and turned it into a light that would shine to others who were in need. I admire you for that. Thank you for starting this blog. I am looking forward to the rest of your story. God Bless

    • Sadny, thank you for the encouragment. You are very precious to me and your words mean a lot. Praying for God’s peace and abounding love to surround you and fill you. Love you.

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